Pulling up the Root

Some things stay buried so long that we forget they are even there. We think we have moved on or we stop thinking about it altogether. But God, if we allow Him, is continually working in us, shaping and molding us each day into His likeness. He patiently brings hidden things to the surface not to shame us but to heal us and make us whole.

That happened to me today.

I woke up singing and worshipping God,  i was singing “More Precious Than Silver” and then “El Shaddai”  by Amy Grant. I had not sung these songs in a long time, and it is amazing how songs from the past come back to us when we least expect them. The melodies and words came naturally, and as I sang, a memory came back to me. My aunt was the one who taught me those song. She had returned home from college with a deep love for worship and all kinds of Christian music. It was different from what many people around us were used to at the time. But I loved it. I was just a girl, but something in that music stirred my heart. Looking back now, I realize my love for worship music began with her.

Right after that beautiful memory, something else surfaced, something I had buried and not thought about in awhile.  God brought to the surface unforgiveness I was still carrying toward my aunt. She had said things that were not true, about many members of our family, including me. Her words caused pain and created division and hurt in our family.  Over time, I avoided her when I could.  I thought I had moved on, but God showed me this morning that unforgiviness and bitterness had taken root in my heart and was still there.

This morning, as I was singing, God gently revealed something I did not even realize was still there. I saw that I had been holding onto unforgiveness and bitterness toward my aunt because of the things she had done. He brought that hidden root to the surface so it could finally be dealt with. In that moment, I forgave her and asked God to forgive me for carrying it for so long. I wish I could speak to her now and thank her for the gift she gave me, my passion for worship music. Sadly, she passed away about three years ago. Even though I cannot tell her in person, I thank God for using her in a way that continues to bless me today.

I now wonder what might have happened if I had focused more on the good she brought into my life instead of holding onto the wrong. What if I had spent more time remembering her love for worship, her creativity, her passion for music and the way she opened my heart to something that has stayed with me ever since? I do not know if our relationship would have changed, but my heart certainly would have been lighter. I cannot go back, but I can go forward differently.

Now, as an adult, I see people differently. I understand more than I used to. People sometimes say or do things to cover their own brokenness, pain or insecurities. My aunt did love Jesus, I believe that. But she was still a person with her own struggles (sin) just like the rest of us. I have mine and the list is long.   We all have our struggles. (sin).  

Hebrews warns us about bitterness. It does not stay buried. It springs up, causes trouble and affects more than just us. Ephesians tells us to get rid of all of it, the bitterness, the anger, the slander and instead to forgive just as God forgives us through Christ.

Forgiveness does not mean pretending the hurt never happened. It means choosing not to let it shape how we live or see others. It means trusting God with the pain and allowing Him to replace it with healing. It means making peace with what we cannot change and opening our hearts to the work God still wants to do through it.

I did not wake up today thinking about my aunt. I woke up singing and worshipping God. Through that melody, God showed me both the beautiful gift she gave me and the brokenness I was still carrying. He brought both to the surface so He could heal what had been buried.

Maybe you have someone in your life who caused deep pain. Maybe you have not thought about it in a long time but the root is still there. If you allow God to work in your heart, He will gently bring it up not to hurt you but to free you and to mold you daily into His likeness.