Life is Hard BUT GOD is GOOD

These words from Proverbs speak to my heart this morning.  On one level, I trust the LORD with my whole heart, my entire being.  I know that He is good, faithful and true.  I have learned through the most difficult times when I can’t understand with my mind, that I can trust Him.  Yet, today, as I write with a heavy heart I find myself crying out for His grace, mercy and understanding.

I am human.  There are things in this life that seem difficult and unfair from my perspective.  However, I know that I am so very limited in my understanding.  This is the reason that I cannot lean on my own understanding.  

Yesterday, I received a text message from a good friend, Deb.  We have been friends since high school.  Through the four years, we were inseparable.  We both lived in the country, a few miles apart.  We went to church, youth group, Girls Athletic Association together.  We took classes together.  We played basketball, bowled, went shopping, ate pizza.  We were involved in each other’s life.  After high school, she went onto college and I went directly into the hospital medical laboratory school.  Our lives grew apart as distance separated.  

My life immediately changed when I was playing softball with the hospital team that first summer after high school.  I had a tragic accident.  I collided with the first base woman.  She was 6’2″.  I am only 5’2″.  She didn’t budge.  I hit her full speed.  I saw the ball coming out of the corner of my eye and I ducked.  I hit her squarely in the pelvis and fell flat on my back.  I had never been hit that hard in my life.  I lay on the ground dazed and in pain.  But, I didn’t want anyone to know.  I was helped to my feet and tried to play in the outfield.  I could barely stand.  The umpire made me take a seat.  So, I watched from the sidelines.  When the game was over, some of my team members kept urging me to go to the hospital and have an x-ray of my neck.  I refused to go until I went to a farewell party for a departing team member.  

At the party, I was in excruciating pain.  My neck was stiff.  I could not turn my head.  I became concerned with how I was going to be able to drive or even dress myself.  So, I reluctantly agreed to go with my friends to ER.  The ER doctor immediately sent me to Radiology. At this point, it took me every ounce of strength to get on and off of the table.  Once the technician was done, she came in and said “Don’t move!”  Almost instantaneously there was an entire room of ER nurses and a doctor in the room.  They put me on a cart, sandbagged my head and admitted me to a hospital room.  The diagnosis:  Broken neck.  I had two fractures in my Atlas vertebrae.  I had to lie on my back, in traction for two weeks.  I had to be in a walking cast for a month and a collar for three months.  

This experience was extremely difficult!  My doctor had lunch with me when I was back at the hospital as a student.  He told me that I was his “miracle patient.”  He went on to explain “You are so fortunate.  You could have sneezed hard and could have been paralyzed from the neck down your entire life.”

There were times that I was told that I would never regain full mobility of my neck.  I was told that I would not be able to complete lab school on time to graduate.  I was told that I would be unable to play ball or do many activities that I enjoyed.  There were many “naysayers”.  But I say this to tell you that God had a different plan.  He taught me to have compassion for people that have to be in a hospital.  He showed me how to be patient and helped me to learn to appreciate the small things in life; like the ability to eat (lying flat on my back).  He taught me to trust in Him.  I learned humility the hard way.  I was dependent on my mom.  She sacrificed her time to help me, to be there for me. I have never forgotten and will be eternally grateful! God used this time to teach me perseverance.  Obstacle after obstacle kept coming my way.  But God, time after time, either removed the obstacle, helped me climb over it, or enabled me to bear it.  

Fast forward, back to Deb.  For several months, she has been going through a very intense difficult journey.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I have personally not received this diagnosis but have walked alongside my grandmother, my friend Kellie and now, Deb.  I have always admired breast cancer survivors.  They are among the most persevering warriors that live on this planet!  They have dealt with diagnosis, surgery, chemotherapy, hair loss, nausea, vomiting, radiation therapy, skin issues, organ issues; the list seems endless!  Yet, they smile! They persevere!  They have hope!  All three of the women in my life that I have walked with have one thing in common, JESUS!  They all have loved Jesus!  He is the anchor in their life!

Today, I would ask that you pray for Deb.  She is in her third week of radiation therapy.   She is broken, and hurting.  She has been under siege from naysayers.  Please pray for her to be strengthened.  Pray against damage to her lungs, heart and skin.  Pray that the lymphedema will be gone and that she will be completely healed.  I believe in miracles!  I believe in the God of miracles!  I am trusting, believing in God and not leaning on my own understanding!