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I said it was the last time
Verse:“I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.”—Romans 7:15 (NLT) I have lost count of how many times I’ve said, “This is the last time.” I have my own personal struggles, the things I battle with daily. Maybe you do too, may you have said, “this is the last time too” You may struggle with to many drinks. A cigarette. A moment of anger that spiraled too far. A word spoken too sharply, or a thought you know doesn’t belong. Maybe it’s something you looked at when no one was watching, or a silence that felt easier than speaking truth. Like me I am sure you have meant it when you have said this is the last time. You meant it when you told God, “I’m not going back.” But then… you did.Sometimes just hours later. And the moment it happens, the weight crashes in. Shame. Guilt. Regret.That sinking feeling creeps in—that maybe, just maybe, I’ll never really change. And suddenly, all I want to do is run—not to God, but away from Him. I shut down. I isolate. Depression starts to creep in like a shadow. Anxiety wraps around my chest and squeezes tight. The weight of my failure feels unbearable. And I can’t help but think: I’ve let others down including myself and God. It’s in those moments, the darkest ones, that a deeper thought comes to my mind.Does God still want me? Is He tired of forgiving me for the same thing? Have I gone too far this time? Others may turn us away. But here’s the truth I’m learning and keep learning everyday: God doesn’t turn His back when we fall. He doesn’t throw up His hands in frustration or walk away.Instead, He whispers, “I’m still here.” Not to shame us, but to rescue us.Not to condemn us, but to remind us that grace is still there. Even the apostle Paul knew this struggle. “I do what I hate,” he said. Those words hit close to home. They remind us this isn’t new. Even someone like Paul so bold, so faithful wrestled with the war inside. See Paul didn’t leave us in despair. He pointed us to hope:“Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:24–25) You see, I’m not writing this because I have figured it all out, because we all know that isn’t true. I’m writing this because I’m in the trenches, too. Still failing and stumbling and still learning to run to God instead of away.Still learning that grace is more than enough even for me. We are not alone! We are not beyond help!And no, God is not disappointed in us. He’s not giving up on us.He is inviting us back, every single time. Mercy is still ours, forgiveness is real and Jesus is our rescue.

The Power of Words – A heartfelt reflection
The Power of Words: A Heartfelt Reflection This morning as I spent some time with God. The thought that I have, at times, hurt people with my words. It’s a truth I can’t run from, and one that breaks my heart. The words I’ve spoken in anger, frustration, or bitterness words I thought were justified in the moment have left scars on others, scars I can’t undo. Most painfully, these words have been spoken to those I love most: my spouse and my children. Over the past few years, I’ve learned that words hold incredible power more than I ever realized. In moments of great emotion, I’ve used that power recklessly, not considering the damage it may have caused. It’s sobering to realize that the I have spoken have left scares on those I love. I wish I could take back every hurtful word, every judgment, but I know I can’t undo the past. I think back on times when I’ve been short with my spouse, said things to my children in frustration, or let irritation with a stranger lead to judgment—moments when I regret the words spoken and sometimes even the thoughts I’ve kept to myself. There are also those private moments when no one is around to hear like when I’m driving in my car, and someone cuts me off or drives recklessly. I’ve spoken harshly in those moments too, reacting in anger instead of choosing peace. Instead of asking God to bless them, protect them, and grant them peace on their journey, I’ve let frustration and irritation dominate my words. How different those moments could have been if I just would have paused, took a breath, and let words of blessing flow out instead of words of frustration. At times, I justified my words telling myself that the situation, or the person’s behavior, deserved my harsh response. I’ve said things in defense, thinking I had every right to speak my mind, to correct someone, or to express my frustration. But as I reflected today, I realize that even when I felt justified, those words were not the ones God would have chosen. If I had only understood the power of words to heal, to encourage, to change the atmosphere, I could have responded differently. Even in the most difficult situations, there was a better way to speak. If I had paused, adjusted my tone, and spoken with grace instead of justifying my frustration, the outcome could have been so different. When the conversation ended would they have walked away reflection on the goodness of God. It’s not just been my family where this has shown up it’s been other areas of my life, in situations where I felt wronged or misunderstood. There have been times I’ve spoken out of hurt, times I’ve reacted instead of responding. In those moments, I forgot that my words have the ability to change not only my heart, but the hearts of others as well. How many times have I let a situation spiral out of control, simply because I did not choose my words carefully? How many opportunities have I missed to speak life and blessing, to bring healing instead of division? Yet, I know that there have also been times when I’ve used my words to encourage and build up. It hasn’t always been ugly words. There have been moments when I’ve chosen to speak life into a person, to offer words of comfort, hope, and encouragement. These are the moments I treasure and look back on with gratitude, knowing that I’ve been a vessel of God’s love and grace in those instances. But even with those good moments, I recognize the need to be more intentional with every word I speak because it’s not just the negative words I need to watch, but also to consistently choose the positive, life-giving words that can heal and restore. But as I was spending time with God this morning, I was reminded of a profound truth: words hold not only the power to destroy, but the power to build, to heal, and to transform. God has given us the incredible ability to speak life into situations, to change circumstances through the words we choose. If only we stopped, even for a moment, to truly understand the weight our words carry. If only we recognized that our words can either hold the power of life or the power of death. Imagine how different our relationships, our homes, social media, and our communities could be if we chose to speak words of blessing over others. Words of encouragement, words of peace, words that lift up instead of tear down—these are the words that can transform lives. They can shift the atmosphere, change someone’s perspective, and offer hope where there was once despair. Words have the power to change circumstances, to breathe life into weary souls, and to bring healing to broken hearts. It’s easy to forget the magnitude of this power when we’re caught up in our emotions, when we’re angry or frustrated. But the truth is, our words are a reflection of God’s love and grace—and when we choose to speak in alignment with that love, we partner with God in bringing about good in the lives of those around us. How different would things be if we chose to speak blessings instead of judgments? How much healing could be brought if we chose to speak peace instead of frustration? Reading through the book of James, I’m reminded of just how much my words have shaped my life and the lives of others. James 3:5-6 says, “The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.” My words, though small, have sparked fires—fires of hurt, confusion, and pain. Sometimes, many times i didn’t even realize the damage I was doing, but now I see that even the smallest spark can set off something much bigger. But in those same moments, my words could have been the spark that brought healing, encouragement, and blessing. And that’s where the hope lies. While I can’t change the past, I can change how I use my words moving forward. I can learn to speak with kindness, grace, and love, to offer words of blessing rather than judgment, to choose life instead of destruction. The past few years, I have worked hard with the Holy Spirits help to become more intentional with my words. I’ve learned that the effort it takes to pause before speaking is well worth it. The more I choose to speak with compassion, to encourage instead of criticize, to bless rather than condemn, the more I see how transformative those words can be. I still don’t always get it right, but I’m growing, and I’m learning to be more patient and loving with my words—whether in big conversations or in those private moments when I’m alone. James 1:19 reminds us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” This is a verse I’ve come to cherish as I grow older. I want to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. The older I get, the more I see the wisdom in this. I want to pause before I speak, reflect before I react, and choose words that reflect God’s love and truth. If you’re reading this and you like me are reflecting on the weight of words you’ve spoken—whether to your loved ones, to others in your life, social media, or even when you’re alone in your car—I want to encourage you. There is grace for you. It’s never too late to speak words that bring life. It’s never too late to start using your voice to build, to heal, and to bless. Let’s be intentional with our words. Let’s choose to speak life, even when it’s hard. Let’s seek forgiveness where we’ve fallen short and trust in the power of God to transform us, one word at a time.

A Boy
Today at church, something beautiful happened that I may never forget. I was sitting with some of the kids at church and right next me was one boy who is around 10 years old. There is a sweet lady and her husband who faithfully bring him. This little boy shows up every Sunday, faithfully walking through the doors. My understanding is, that his home life isn’t easy, but despite the challenges he faces, he still comes week after week. Today, something incredible happened during worship. He started out lying in the pew, just like any other kid might do. But when the song “Waymaker” began, something changed in him. His face lit up, and he jumped to his feet with excitement. It was like the song reached deep into his heart, and without hesitation, he started singing—out loud, with all his heart, soul, and mind. His voice was filled with pure joy, and he was singing with a passion that could not be ignored. He wasn’t worried about who was watching or what others might think. He was completely absorbed in the moment, praising God with everything inside him. Watching him, I couldn’t help but be moved. It reminded me of Jesus’ words in Matthew 18:3: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” This boy was the living picture of childlike faith—unashamed, whole-hearted, and real. As I reflected on this, I thought about how many adults come to church each week but rarely engage in worship. So many sit in silence, not singing, not participating, not fully giving themselves to God. But here was this boy—who comes alone, week after week—showing us what it looks like to worship God with everything we have. Psalm 103:1 says, “Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.” And that’s exactly what this boy was doing. He wasn’t just going through the motions—he was singing with every part of himself. His actions reflected the command in Mark 12:30 to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” I couldn’t help but think of how often, as adults, we get distracted or self-conscious during worship. We hold back because we’re worried about how we look or what others think. But this child—this boy—reminded me that worship isn’t about appearances or comfort. It’s about giving God all the glory, all the praise, and all the honor He deserves, without hesitation. His passion for God was contagious, and his joy in worshiping left a lasting impact on me. I walked away deeply inspired, knowing that we are all called to worship God with everything we have, regardless of our circumstances. Like this boy, I want to worship with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, praising God with everything I have.

Wonder of God
This morning, I found myself reflecting on Psalm 119:27, and it really made me pause. The verse says, “Help me understand the meaning of your precepts so that I can meditate on your wonders.” At first, I wondered—how does understanding God’s precepts actually help me meditate on His wonders and what is a precept. Also, shouldn’t I be able to see His wonders just as they are, without needing to know precepts? But as I sat with that thought, something clicked: without understanding God’s ways, I might miss out on seeing what He’s doing right in front of me. So, what exactly is a precept? It’s not just a rule—it’s a window into God’s wisdom, His heart, and His purpose for my life. When I begin to understand His precepts, I start to see the world through a different lens. Challenges no longer seem like obstacles, but instead become opportunities for God to show me His faithfulness. A sunrise isn’t just a pretty scene—it’s a reminder of His new mercies, fresh every morning. It’s like when I look up at the stars at night. Without understanding God’s precepts, I might just see a beautiful sky. But when I remember that God is the Creator, that He holds the universe in His hands (Colossians 1:16-17), those stars become more than just distant lights in the sky. They speak of His vastness, His power, and His deep love for me. The same God who set those stars in place knows my name, sees my struggles, and walks with me every step of the way. God’s wonders are all around us, but I won’t fully see them unless I understand His ways. When I know that God is always working for good, even in tough seasons, I can reflect on the wonder of how He takes brokenness and weaves something beautiful from it. And when I remember that He is my provider (Philippians 4:19), I find myself meditating on His wonders every time He meets a need—whether big or small. I don’t want to just glance at God’s wonders. I want to dwell in them. I want to see Him in the details of my life, recognizing His hand in the ordinary and the extraordinary. But to do that, I need His truth to shape my perspective. I need to know His precepts—not just in my head, but in my heart, so I can truly see His wonders all around me.

The Morning Light
In the early morning stillness, as the sky begins to lighten, I find myself drawn to God’s presence. The rising sun paints the sky with vivid colors, reminding me of His creativity and love. With each new dawn, I open my heart to Him, offering my praise and seeking His guidance for the day ahead. As the world slowly wakes, I’m reminded of God’s mercy and grace. These quiet moments with Him allow me to lay down my fears, my burdens, and my tears. In His presence, I find renewal and peace. Each breath I take is a reminder of His sustaining love, and with every sunrise, I am reminded to trust in Him more deeply. Morning with God is a time of grace, where His love fills my heart and I am made new, ready to face whatever the day brings. The Song Lyrics: These lyrics are mine, a work of artCopyrighted, right from the startCopyright Notice: © 2025 Faith Lenihan https://faithfulforager.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/The-Morning-Light.mp4

OLD RUG
The rug, once new, now tattered and torn. Holes. Shredded. Greatly worn. The beauty has faded. It’s better days, now jaded. Memories, if this rug could talk, does hold- Stories of Christmas’s, cross-country parties, dog tales would unfold. Gone now are its glory days. I sit. I stare. I wonder with amaze. I ponder. My life seems to resemble this old rug. As I look at it, I cry. My heart feels a tug. Once, I felt valued, beautiful; no more. My life has been filled with pain; my heart ripped and tore! Life’s journey has been rough! But in my LORD Jesus, I trust! He gives me strength; shows the way- Keeps me on the path so I won’t stray! He has and is healing my heart. He cleanses me and gives me a fresh start. Although I am thread bare, Jesus knows every rip and tear! He hears. He sees. He knows. He holds me. Into my heart His love flows. He shatters the darkness with His light. He picks me up, encourages, tells me to continue to “fight the good fight.” This is a spiritual war Put on your battle armor. Fight. Like an eagle-soar! Rise above the despair- My heart hears: “Do good. Love others. Show them I care.” “Out of the ashes, I am teaching you to grow Let my love flow! Show others the way- Remember where you have been. Watch and pray!